Sociopathic Curiosity
by hidekey
Summary: A short story illustrating Zolf J Kimblee's unique outlook on killing. Followed by scientific notes based on Kimblee's attempts at social interaction
1. Chapter 1

"I just wanna know." Kimblee insisted, casually lying on the sand behind enemy lines a though he hadn't a care in the world.

"well I don't want to talk about it." Roy sniped bitterly.

"if there's something wrong with your array-"  
"there's nothing wrong with my array!"

"you're in pain after every mission, somethings obviously wrong with you."  
"no, Kimblee, it isn't me. Somethings wrong with you!"  
"really?" Kimblee sat up, alerted to an enemy quietly approaching. Must be out of ammunition, he figured. The fool must be desperate, to sneak up on us with just a tiny knife. He didn't let on that he noticed.

"how so?"

"you laugh out loud while you kill people! Don't you feel anything for the lives you've wasted?"  
"No..." Kimblee thought about the question carefully. "should I?"  
"YES!" Roy shouted in frustration. The sneak took the opportunity to attack. In an instant, Kimblee's long arms reached past Roy and pushed the attacker back. The explosion he made was perfect, elements crashing together in his precision control to create a blindingly beautiful explosion.

Roy looked behind him,  
"that's just sick!" He shouted in disgust. Kimblee was confused. Until he'd joined in the war, he'd only ever received praise for his alchemy. His current contemporaries, however, looked upon his handiwork negatively. _what am I doing wrong?_ He wondered. In the lab he grew up in, his caretakers encouraged him to be creative in his use of alchemy. All his life he'd been encouraged to find better ways to kill efficiently with his arrays.

"I just don't get it, how is that sick?" Kimblee confronted his most emphatic nay-sayer.

"You just killed a little girl, in cold blood! And you're telling me you don't get it?" He asked incredulously. Kimblee thought about what he might be doing wrong,

"... would it have been better if it was an adult?" He ventured, mumbling calculations on the difference in mass and sulphur content.

"You honestly don't feel anything, no guilt, no sorrow." Roy realised.

"Well," Kimblee defended, "I do feel proud of my skill, and I'm frustrated that none of the other alchemists want to work with me..." Then, he had an epiphany,

"So... If I act guilty and sorrowful, the other soldiers will talk to me, and not avoid me whenever they have an excuse?"

Roy just about choked on his own breath. After blowing apart a little girl, the emotionless Red Lotus Alchemist - The MAD BOMBER! had inadvertently confessed his desire to be popular. _Oh, God,_ Roy tried not to laugh._ Maes will never believe this one!_


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Dedicated to manga-neko-96 for her encouragement and ideas for continuing what was going to be a one-shot :)  
**

**Social Acceptance Experiment 1**

PURPOSE: Through observation, enthusiasm towards killing others is socially unacceptable, whereas the behaviour of one Flame Alchemist is socially acceptable. Subject (me) will copy his facial expressions, and display them to peers.  
HYPOTHESIS: Peers will interpret expression as sorrow and guilt, and social acceptance will follow.

EXPERIMENTAL DESIGN

• MATERIALS:  
Roy Mustang  
Sketch book  
Mirror

• PROCEDURE:  
Observe the facial expressions of Roy Mustang, and sketch them on paper.  
Practice in private, using a mirror, to emulate these expressions.  
Execute these expressions on the next mission.

• CONTROLS AND VARIABLES:

CONTROLS: Teammates during missions: Hodges, Smith, Coleman, and Jones.  
Orders: Kill rebel Ishvalans in a designated area.  
Methods: Create one human bomb, and allow him to return to his post before he explodes.

INDEPENDENT VARIABLE: Facial Expression

DEPENDENT VARIABLE: teammates' reaction.

• DATA AND OBSERVATIONS:  
1) Quantitative observations: Facial expression remained constant throughout the mission. Two men spoke to me from a distance during the mission.  
2) Qualitative observations: The men specifically stated that if I had the flu, I shouldn't accept missions and spread the contagion to my team.

ANALYSIS: teammates misinterpreted facial expressions as illness.  
EVALUATION: Facial expressions alone are not enough to express sorrow and guilt.  
CONCLUSION: Misinterpretation of facial expressions influenced the soldiers to avoid me and possible contamination, rather than the desired effect of social acceptance. Thus, sorrow and guilt are perceived through some other means than facial expression.

* * *

Major Mustang set the paper beside his dinner plate, and sighed.  
"Well?" Zolf asked, eager for a fellow scientist's feedback.

"Kimblee, I've seen your 'expressions,' and -" Oh God, how he wished the psychopath had asked someone else's opinion. "While it is obvious that you have dedicated hours to practicing them, there is much more to human interaction than a frown that doesn't reach your eyes."

"Hmm," Kimblee paused in thought. "I'll work on the eyes. Perhaps you could offer a detailed critique?"

"You just don't get it, do you?" Roy asked tiredly. "You can't hope to understand people through science. You need intuition and experience."

"Nonsense," Kimblee denied. "Everything can be solved with science! I simply didn't allow for all the variables, it'll be better next time." He snatched up his notes, and stalked out of the mess hall. Next time, he'd try being less subtle with his teammates.

_Oh my God! _Roy schooled his face to avoid expressing his dread. since he didn't want it sketched and copied, _there's going to be a next time?!_


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Dedicated to manga-neko-96 for her encouragement and ideas for continuing what was going to be a one-shot :) A note on Kimblee's character, in response to a recent review: There are two different interpretations of Kimblee, that of the original anime (who wears a red suit) and that of the original manga as well as the second anime (who wears a white suit). White Kimblee is all about suave attitude, elegance, and understanding people in order to manipulate them. This is Red Kimblee, who thought it was funny when Marta tried to kill him, and who was annoyed by Al stopping him from killing people, as he was just trying to do his job.  
**

**Social Acceptance Experiment 2**

PURPOSE: To convince my peers that I experience sorrow and guilt.  
HYPOTHESIS: By verbally confessing my sorrow and guilt, my peers will realize my facial expressions were not physical illness, and social acceptance will follow.

EXPERIMENTAL DESIGN

• MATERIALS:  
Roy Mustang

tape recorder

Pre-rehearsed script

• PROCEDURE:  
Ask Roy Mustang about his experiences in killing, and record his wording, tone, and inflection.  
Alter these stories to fit some of my own experiences.  
Practice in private, using a tape recorder, to emulate these expressions.  
Tell these stories to my peers during a lull in battle.

• CONTROLS AND VARIABLES:

CONTROLS: Teammates during missions: Hodges, Smith, Coleman, and Jones.  
Orders: Kill rebel Ishvalans in a designated area.  
Methods: Between killing, speak about my experiences with sorrow and guilt.

INDEPENDENT VARIABLE: Wording, tone, and inflection.

DEPENDENT VARIABLE: teammates' reaction.

• DATA AND OBSERVATIONS:  
1) Quantitative observations: Stories performed exactly as rehearsed. Coleman, a lower ranked soldier placed his hand on my shoulder, and spoke to me after a story.  
2) Qualitative observations: The soldier offered his own well-rehearsed speech, whose message implied he thought I was weak. The speech ended in the popular catchphrase "Suck it up, soldier. We're in a war-zone." The other peers looked disgruntled with me, and nodded agreement with Coleman

ANALYSIS: teammates responded to my expression of sorrow and guilt negatively.  
EVALUATION: Coleman's views of sorrow and guilt are different than what Roy Mustang led me to believe.  
CONCLUSION: Expression of sorrow and guilt was conveyed, but the desired effect of sympathy was not resultant. Thus, expressing sorrow and guilt will not lead to social acceptance.

* * *

Major Mustang crumpled the paper in his fist and smashed it repeatedly on his forehead.

"While that wasn't what I was expecting, I certainly knew you would offer some valuable reactions to my budding thesis." Zolf admitted.

"People often say things they don't mean." Roy _tried_ to explain, he really did. "Sargeant Coleman may have said those things to you, but I'm sure he only said it as a brave front in front of the other soldiers. I've watched him on the battlefield; he'll wound men to disable them, rather than killing them." _Why ME? _He implored of a diety he didn't truly believe in. "You are very methodical in your approach, I admit. But sometimes you need to see things from a different perspective. You know the old saying: Walk a mile in another man's shoes?"

"Hmm," Kimblee's eyes closed as he reflected on Mustang's newest insight. Suddenly, his eyes opened with a sly, plotting glint to them. He rushed from Roy's tent, with a smirk that Roy was sure meant trouble - and another set of research notes. He made a note to avoid Kimblee until the psychopath grew tired of this game.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Dedicated to manga-neko-96 for her encouragement and ideas for continuing what was going to be a one-shot :)**

**Social Acceptance Experiment 3**

PURPOSE: To demonstrate sorrow and guilt.  
HYPOTHESIS: By refusing to kill, my peers will accept my confessions of sorrow and guilt as true, and social acceptance will follow.

EXPERIMENTAL DESIGN

• MATERIALS:  
Coleman

Coleman's performance record

personal record of observations regarding the type of Ishvalan Coleman chooses to kill, maim, or injure.

• PROCEDURE:  
Calculate Coleman's kill/maim/injure rate, then implement a schedule using that ratio, along with consideration to the demographic in context.

• CONTROLS AND VARIABLES:

CONTROLS: Teammates during missions: Hodges, Smith, Coleman, and Jones.  
Orders: Kill rebel Ishvalans in a designated area.  
Methods: Kill one Ishvalan per ten attacks, maim three per eight attacks. Injure all others.

INDEPENDENT VARIABLE: Unpredictable method of killing (human bombing). Inexperience in maiming may also contribute.

DEPENDENT VARIABLE: teammates' reaction.

• DATA AND OBSERVATIONS:  
1) Quantitative observations: Kill/maim/injure ratio maintained within one percent of accuracy.  
2) Qualitative observations: Upon allowing a mother with a small child to run away, all soldiers involved offered appreciative looks, one slapped me on the back in comeradeship.

ANALYSIS: teammates responded positively, despite my actions prolonging the battle.  
EVALUATION: Coleman's views of sorrow and guilt are precisely the views I need to gain social acceptance.  
CONCLUSION: Action is far more efficient in gaining social acceptance than facial expression or verbal declaration.

* * *

They decided to lay low until morning, rather than risk exposure in the dark on enemy lands. Finding an abandoned house, they settled in for the night. Whoever lived here had vacated only recently, leaving behind day old bread and preserved vegetables. It was a veritable feast for the starving soldiers, who'd had only field rations all day. Kimblee was included in the cameraderie as though he'd always been there. It was Bliss! He'd imagined what it was like to hear the praises of his comerades, but the real thing was unimaginable! They called him Zolf, and after finishing off a stash of wine from the cellar, some of them even called him Zolfy. Instead of talking around him, like they had previously, they talked _to_ him. _This high, _he realized_, is even __better _than alchemy!

It was the dead of night, when Coleman nudged him awake. He'd drank less than the others, but his tolerance was lower. He groaned the pain of the hung over, prying an eyelid open to see the butt of Coleman's gun coming in for another nudge. He grabbed it, to let the man know he was awake.

"Rebels, sir." Coleman whispered. "I think they're searching for us." His words were punctuated with the sound of several guns clicking to ready. Red eyes peered in through doors, windows, and even the occasional crack in the wall.

"Indeed, sargeant. Seems like they found us, too."

"Stand." The word came out in clipped Amestrian, followed by its speaker. A burly man, both his arms wrapped in bandages. Zolf could still smell the sulphur that had caused the wounds. Now he remembered this particullar Ishvalan. The man had carelessly held both hands to his gun, after Zolf had made one of them explosive.

"Stand, and face your deaths, Amestrian Dogs!" Zolf stood, alright. But not to face his death.

"I maimed you so that you would go away and not be dead!" Zolf answered angrily. "Is this how you repay me?!"

The ishvalans conferred amongst each other._ "Is my understanding of Amestrian wrong?" _one asked. The others assured him it was not._ "It's against the teachings of Ishvalla to destroy the mentally retarded." _The others gasped.

_"Yes,"_ the leader conceded,_ "but only if he does not understand what is right and what is wrong." _

_"According to the scriptures, we must at least try to enlighten him." _

_"But he's Amestrian!"_ The leader protested. _"It is nothing more than a trick. Some of the Amestrians know vaguely of our beliefs." _

_"We can't kill him until we're sure it is a trick. We'll have to take him prisoner."  
_

"Very well, we will repay you in kind." The leader angrily declared, shouting instructions to his followers. Two Ishvalans grabbed at his hands, exposing the arrays tattooed into his flesh before savagely cutting at them with a knife. He screamed and collapsed into an unconscious heap, unused to being on the receiving end of brutality.


	5. Chapter 5

"We rescue you from week-long captivity and you ignore your beaten and bruised body, demanding paper and someone to dictate to."

Zolf stood at attention in Colonel Grande's tent.

"AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GIVE ME?!"

* * *

**Social Acceptance Experiment 3 - REVISED  
**

PURPOSE: To demonstrate sorrow and guilt.  
HYPOTHESIS: By refusing to kill, my peers will accept my confessions of sorrow and guilt as true, and social acceptance will follow.

EXPERIMENTAL DESIGN

• MATERIALS:  
Coleman

Coleman's performance record

personal record of observations regarding the type of Ishvalan Coleman chooses to kill, maim, or injure.

• PROCEDURE:  
Calculate Coleman's kill/maim/injure rate, then implement a schedule using that ratio, along with consideration to the demographic in context.

• CONTROLS AND VARIABLES:

CONTROLS: Teammates during missions: Hodges, Smith, Coleman, and Jones.  
Orders: Kill rebel Ishvalans in a designated area.  
Methods: Kill one Ishvalan per ten attacks, maim three per eight attacks. Injure all others.

INDEPENDENT VARIABLE: Unpredictable method of killing (human bombing). Inexperience in maiming may also contribute.

DEPENDENT VARIABLE: teammates' reaction.

• DATA AND OBSERVATIONS:  
1) Quantitative observations: Kill/maim/injure ratio maintained within one percent of accuracy.  
2) Qualitative observations: Upon allowing a mother with a small child to run away, all soldiers involved offered appreciative looks, one slapped me on the back in comeradeship. Later, when an injured Ishvallan ambushed us in revenge for my actions upon him, all soldiers glared at me in resentment.

ANALYSIS: teammates responded positively, despite my actions prolonging the battle. This positive reaction did not extend past the consequences of capture, later that night.  
EVALUATION: Coleman's views of sorrow and guilt are precisely the views I need to gain social acceptance. However I must now find a way to avoid Ishvallan vengeance.  
CONCLUSION: Action is far more efficient in gaining social acceptance than facial expression or verbal declaration. It is also far more efficient in losing said acceptance.

* * *

Gran rubbed his face furiously in disbelief. Perhaps, if he glanced at the paper again, the words will have changed to a report on why the army's artificially produced, therefore perfect, soldier had somehow gotten captured.

No.

The idiocy remained.

"You were raised to be the perfect soldier, with no guilt or sorrow over the deaths of the enemy. Guilt and sorrow are a flaw in the social structure of civilian society.

AND I FIND OUT YOU ARE TRYING TO LEARN THEM?!"

Zolf winced. Colonel Grande had taught him the fundamentals of alchemy, back when he was still a Major and Zolf was a little boy. He was one of the people who had praised him for his creative works in explosives - it was what drove him to be a better killer.

"Look, you little snot nosed brat." Grande scowled. He was in trouble alright, Grande hadn't called him that in years! "This isn't some grade school drama, where you need to impress your little friends. This is a battlefield! You don't need friends out here, you just need to get the job done!"

* * *

Roy and Maes were sharing a peaceful silence, when they heard the tent flap open. Maes looked up curiously, Roy closed his eyes and recited a litany of "please not him, please not him!"

When he opened his eyes, however, and saw the purple blotches and bandages, hea leapt to his feet in concern. The annoyance had been absent for over a week, and Roy had counted his blessings and not asked questions. Now, though, he couldn't ignore what was in front of him.

"What happened to you?!" He demanded, not at all pleased with the concern laced in his voice.

"Got caught by the enemy." Zolf replied matter-of-factly. "Doesn't matter," he dismissed. "There are more important things to talk about: What is grade school?"


End file.
